i keep imagining the autopsy docs trying to keep tally of all the purse-shaped bruises on the victims body.
hahahahahahahaha

i have dreams that i die a lot. they freak me right the fuck out.

waking up in the middle of a panic attack. it's lovely.

um...in my dreams none of the ways i die seem like the best.

in my sleep seems the best way to die though. weird, huh?

I recently read about these middle aged ladies that were driving along Snoqualmie Pass here in WA state. They were just driving. Road conditions were great and a HUGE boulder (the size of 3 trucks) landed right on top of their moving vehicle. The timing involved and the fact that -- I'm sure -- this was the last thing on their minds makes this THEE best way to die.

C'mon. You know that whenever you're in a car you kinda think about car wrecks and stuff like that. But who the fuck thinks about truck-sized boulders?

Not me, my friend. Not me.

I guess I win then.

I'm so proud of me.

I actually have a preferred way to die, and a preferred way for my remains to be dealt with in the event I don't die by my preferred method.

I think the best way to die would be to free-fall out of an aircraft or helicopter into the lava of an active volcano.

Barring that, should I die by more conventional means, I want my remains to be dealt with (and I've told my family this) as follows:

My body should be liquefied, first demolished in a giant grinder and then passed into a giant industrial-strength blender, made into a pasty liquid.

This liquid should be put into a cannister that is a cylinder, not entirely unlike the one you might use in the remote lanes of a bank drive-thru, but this one is made of two halves; they are joined together with the liquid me inside.

This cannister should be put into a rocket and shot into space.

Once the rocket has left the Earth's atmosphere and made it sufficiently far from the planet, it should jettison the cannister with the liquid me in it.

The cannister should travel at a reasonably high speed, and once the cannister is sufficiently far from the now-abandoned rocket, it should be split apart with a spring-type device which would cause the two halves to depart the liquid me and drift off to the sides.

The liquid me would then be a blob that was held together by its own gravity, travelling through space, collecting bits of space dust into it until eventually it became more and more solid. Maybe eventually it would splat into something, or be assimilated into a comet or a star or whatnot.

I think that is the most badass way for my remains to be dealt with, provided I don't die by falling into the lava of an active volcano.

I want to go via Spontaneous Human Combustion, at a friends' wedding.

Anytime is good, as long as it's sudden and unexpected. Even then it wont make a stick of difference after you're dead anyway: dead brain, dead you.

Was it Monty Pythons' Meaning Of Life?

Where that dude (Idle?) gets to choose the nature of his own demise, and is chased up hill 'n' down dale and ultimately off a cliff (by hundreds of voluptuous, naked 70's chicks in crash-helmets) straight to the gravity-grave on the beach?

Wadda way to go! Way better that a punch in the Appendix...

Rodabod wrote:Perhaps being bitten by a venemous snake.... On a plane.

"On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, let loose a crate full of deadly snakes."

Yeah, one of those ones.

Damn. I was sooo gonna post this.

Fucker!

Horseplay at a public pool.

Horseplay at a public pool.