Even though you are the single person, you both need to respect the spouse being cheated on and put yourself in their shoes. It is not a fun little game. Marriage is a life long commitment. Life long. And not just because it says that in the vows; it really should mean something. In a world filled with things that don't mean anything we should hold personal relationships and marriage as worthy things to not fuck with. If not, what else do you have?

My two cents.

itchy mcgoo wrote:Cheaters, I don't get you.

Actually, you do.

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:

itchy mcgoo wrote:Cheaters, I don't get you.

Actually, you do.

Indeed, you do.

STF wrote:But we strongly prefer each other to our partners.

Then

1) Determine why you don't prefer your partners more, and fucking do something about it if you value your commitments to these people, or

2) Be adults and end the commitments before launching into something with someone else.

Above all else, be fucking honest, for god's sake.

Christ, my last relationship just ended because we couldn't deal with attempting an open relationship while we were long distance, and WE were being honest with each other! I can't imagine what it would have been like had we been lying to each other.

By the way, this is what you're doing--lying.

I agree with almost everything said to date, but I would add that "these things happen" with numbing frequency. It's a garden-variety test of your ability to commit. Nothing earth-shaking. Banal, actually.

If you don't want to be with your girlfriend anymore, do the both of you a favor and break up. Then you can do whatever you want.

This thread is both dedicated to the faithful and presented to the false-hearted to encourage their renewal of temperance and virtue.


CRAP. Break up with your girlfriend and find an unmarried girl to screw, or take the first in a long series of cold showers.


Of course, since I am a non-Christian, and indeed an atheist, you have to take into consideration that my moral judgment is based on the rather flimsy basis of "it's wrong because it will cause pain, anger, sadness, and mistrust to those around you" rather than the Rock-Solid Eternal Foundation of "an invisible man in the sky told me you shouldn't do this or you will regret it after you are dead."

Subjective morality! All you say is suspect!


Your substratum is inferior, Linus. Clearly.

please break up with your old respective partners before fucking your co-worker. once the cheating starts, the other relationships will probably get empty and sad (or emptier and sadder) very fast. then you'll just end up splitting anyway. why drag out the whole process with sleazy deception? you're only going to further resent the old decaying relationships because you won't be able to be with the person you really want. the cliche thrill of arranging secret fuck rendezvous will quickly turn into an anxious, depressing and, ultimately, sick game.

if you want to fuck someone else, end your old relationship first.

grangle wrote:if you want to fuck someone else, end your old relationship first.

I could have quoted other things, but that'll do. And BTW I didn't intend to talk about my problem, just to start a discussion. How sanctimonious some of you are.

There are very good reasons for not ending my present relationship. We own a car, an HDTV, and two cats and a dog together, and are renting to own our current residence (--a good deal, actually). If I leave my girlfriend--which I will probably do eventually, regardless of what happens with my co-worker--I will let her have all of this stuff. (Except the cat that I found and paid for his vet bills and love dearly.) I will have nothing. Of course I would gladly give this stuff up if I were sure my co-worker and I could have some sort of relationship. But for now I will wait and see.

Banal as it sounds, we think we're in love. I have no problem with fucking a few times to see if the addition of physical affection confirms or refutes this feeling. Afterwards we can decide what to do next. I liked my girlfriend just fine before this, and figured we'd get married. I've never cheated before, nor have I ever been an accomplice in cheating. This, in my mind anyway, is a unique situation (for me). This other girl is 100 times smarter, prettier, and cooler than my girlfriend. And I'd be crazy about her under any circumsatances. These just happen to be the worst possible.

And bullshit about marriage. If you're 22 and you get married because it seems like a sweet thing to do then two years later you realize you've made a mistake, so be it. It's not the end of the world if a marriage ends. We just want to be more sure about us before we go and fuck everybody's lives up.

STF wrote:
There are very good reasons for not ending my present relationship. We own a car, an HDTV, and two cats and a dog together, and are renting to own our current residence (--a good deal, actually). If I leave my girlfriend--which I will probably do eventually, regardless of what happens with my co-worker--I will let her have all of this stuff. (Except the cat that I found and paid for his vet bills and love dearly.) I will have nothing. Of course I would gladly give this stuff up if I were sure my co-worker and I could have some sort of relationship. But for now I will wait and see.

You are a total fucking asshole and deserve to have absolutely nothing.