I really don't think i can face work anymore. I know the reaction of some of you is going to be 'don't be such a fanny, get to work, you're a librarian for fuck's sake'. This is what I've been telling myself for a while now. But I swear, I think I'm going to do something bad to someone or to myself. I've phoned in sick the last couple of days. I was intending to go back today, but it's now four o'clock in the morning and I really just don't think I'm going in there. Someone close advised me to go on the sick today. I did the spiel about it being a cop out, that I should be working, that I'm not digging holes in the road and that it's not that bad. I've got family who are 'clinically' depressed and I've always thought it a lame excuse for not doing what has to be done. But I don't think I believed myself today when I was saying that stuff, and it's hitting home now. I need a break.

I'm not after a moralistic opinion about this. If any of you have done this, gone on the sick, as it were. please could you let me know what it's about and how I go about it.

I've had it. Really.

OK. I've only just got in from my work.

Carry on with the sickie today, and Friday too.

Then work on your diet for the next four days. Try actually eating the foods you are told to eat: fresh everything, clean proteins, low on processing, cooked yourself. What you eat has an enormous effect on warding off the cyclical, depressive feelings. It's amazing.

Drink shitloads of water. Yes, I know, we are all told to. It's amazing. Drink shitloads of water for the next four days.

Cyclical, repetitive states are triggered by cyclical, repetitive behaviour. The only way you will break out of such states is by identifying the triggers for them in what you do and what you think. This may involve changing your job, someday. Changing your physical state is the first and most important thing; go running, go dancing, make stupid faces at yourself in the mirror.

Everybody gets like this from time to time. That is not to oversimplify or dismiss your problem. You must, however, recognise that reality if you want to not feel like this anymore.

If you can go out dancing at the weekend, that will help. Seriously. Seriously. For half a dozen reasons, going out dancing is the finest mental health therapy available. You might be thinking "I hate dancing". That will make it even more powerful. Even imagining yourself dancing changes your state. Have a go. Go out dancing. I personally think Northern Soul nights should be funded by the NHS, up and down the country.

I know nothing about you, your job, or your specific situation. All I know is that I have suffered from exactly the same things in the past, and I now know how to deal with them, and the relief is like ascending in a hot air balloon with a loved one and a bottle of champagne.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you Mister. It's no fun.

My wife works for the DWP, and I'll certainly ask her about this stuff later and let you know what she says, but in the meantime I'd not recommend withdrawal from mainstream society as a means of addressing depression.

Work is not in itself necessarily going to reduce the symptoms of depression, but it does at least prevent a total grinding to a halt of your life. The last thing that a depressed person should do is less than they are doing.

I know you didn't ask for that stuff, so I will (as promised) provide info relating to incapacity benefit (or whatever they call it these days).

As johnnyshape says, start eating healthier, and making sure you eat three times a day at fairly regular hours.

The other thing is make sure you're sleeping right. Nothing aggravates depression more than lack of sleep or irregular sleeping habits.

If you're having trouble sleeping, then get some excercise. The dancing suggestion is a good one, taking long walks after a meal is another, join your local Boro supporters club Pub team (alright, don't do that) - but excercise is neccesary in keeping you physically in balance.

If you're a librarian you could end up with a rather sedentary lifestyle, which isn't good for the health. So you've got to actually move about. Also, watch out for the dust on all those books. Gives you sneezing fits as well.

If you're still not up for it after the weekend, then set up an appointment with an NHS counselor. By the way, work related stress is thehot topic for September. Though I realise you're talking about a more general condition here.

Try and work through it if you can.

Johnnyshape is right, at the very least about the dancing. I work in a call centre for a major telecoms company, and just get endless reams of backchat, jive and low-grade abuse in my ear from the word 'go'. No-one feels like walking down to the park at lunch, so we usually cram around a shitty pool table and play until the cattle call back to our desk.

So, over the weekend, my friend went away and asked me to take care of the night he puts on in town, DJing soul/funk/new wave/no wave etc etc - after a pretty shitty week, I wasn't really looking forward to it either. A few re cords in, people start dancing. An hour later, the floor is filled. A couple of hours later, I'm dancing between having to attend to my job, talking, people coming over and talking to me - I'm shaking it all loose, and not because I'm trying to impress some girl - but because I really just felt like it. I felt much better then...

However, I'm back in the cycle - even worse, it's a late shift and I haven't got any energy to cook in the evening - unless! - I use the time saved in the morning to prepare everything, and have it all ready to go when I get home. On Monday, for dinner, I had two yogurts. I thought that was shit, so by yesterday I had chicken in black bean sauce, with rice and I followed it up with some stem ginger ice cream.

It's hard living on your own for the first time, earning, looking after yourself. When it all piles up, you can get down and it leads to disinclination to do the things that you're obligated to do. Just don't. Get up (if you can). Go do it. Put on The NOU and shakedown.

Ignore the last bit if you wish.

However, the practicalities are - go to the doctor, get him to diagnose you with something, obtain sicknote - send to work.

Britishers - is there some meaning to this phrase "going on the sick" other than "taking sick leave?" We Americans, at least the ones in this room, are very confused.

ironyengine wrote:Britishers - is there some meaning to this phrase "going on the sick" other than "taking sick leave?"

I don't think so (unless there is another American connotation to "taking sick leave"). The same applies to "taking/pulling a sickie".

Chapter Two, I'm sorry to hear about this. All of the advice above sounds excellent (and in fact I'm thinking of ripping some off myself). Have you had any holiday recently? I've had pretty similar-sounding moods over the past year, having often had huge difficulty getting out of bed, more than I would usually ascribe to my chronic lazyitis. I'm now back home on my first proper week off since Christmas (which was unhappy for other reasons) and feel a lot better, reading, walking and eating a lot. If you can take holiday, make sure you have interesting stuff to do though - don't just stay in bed.

If you have had enough holiday, then maybe it's worth thinking about whether the job itself is depressing you. Which is the conclusion I've come to myself. Move! On that note, I agree completely with johnnyshape's comments regarding dancing - I've only really started doing it regularly over the past year, and love it.

Take care

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and advice (and PMs). I wil indeed get my stagnant energy moving in a positive way, get some good things down me and do some good things for myself and get this shit moved on. But I'm also going to the doctor tomorrow to see if I can get some real time out of work, just to get back to normal running.

Adam, I wouldn't worry about the benefit stuff, I don't think I'm going to go all the way to quitting my job just yet.

Okay. I feel daft for putting this thread here last night but you have all helped me a lot here so thanks very much, very much appreciated.

sparky wrote:Chapter Two, I'm sorry to hear about this. All of the advice above sounds excellent (and in fact I'm thinking of ripping some off myself). Have you had any holiday recently?

I took two weeks off at the start of July, which were meant to be spent walking half of the Cleveland Way, a huge footpath through the Yorkshire Moors. However, it was insanely hot and I was carrying too much stuff, so I walked for a day up and down those hills, camped out one beautiful night on a hill surrounded by forest on my own, walked a few more miles in the morning then realised I had ground my knees to a fine powder, had sweated more in twenty four hours than in my entire life, and would have no mobile reception out on the moors for when I inevitably became crippled and insane. So I went home on the second day and spent the rest of the fortnight letting my legs heal up and talking to you lot.

Here's me enjoying my English walking holiday: