s = y wrote:to a fat girl who liked slipknot and could fit my entire hand inside her.
it was like opening a window and making love to the night sky;
often has her dark mystery aroused contempt in my bold one eye.
still, job done.

So poetic... it actually brought a tear to my eye.

i was 16 and the girl had just turned 15. we got wasted on gin and went at it in my parents basement. playing on the stereo was my first bands demo tape that was just recorded a few days prior. i dont THINK i chose to put it on, but i do remember thinking it was odd to be fucking to myself "singing."

she was a really pretty italian girl with reddish brown hair, that my best friend (badcomrade's brother) could make cry with ease. he would make her cry every fucking day in high school and i am pretty sure he was quite proud of this ability.

Sex when it's the first time for both parties = CRAP

few weeks before my birthday,
few weeks after my bar-mitzvah.

Just after I'd turned 20, by a few days. I was a social pariah in NE WI Redneckland and didn't have a boyfriend until I was 18, so there wasn't much opportunity before that. Also, I am terrified of pregnancy/hate babies and refused to have sex until I could afford an abortion should I become pregnant.

We were both virgins and lived with our parents, so we chose his house due to the remote location of his parents' bedroom. It lasted about 10 seconds and after washing up, he slept on the sofa with his just-declawed kitten rather than in the bed with me. I cried myself to sleep in his bed.

The end! Sex is fun!

Sheezus mandrizzle

Do you have one good sex story at all? One that doesn't end with some horrible thing happening to someone and sadness and despair for all involved?

Old...
With the most beautiful guy I could find.
But, he was so stupid...

Marsupialized wrote:Sheezus mandrizzle

Do you have one good sex story at all? One that doesn't end with some horrible thing happening to someone and sadness and despair for all involved?

Hmm...

I fucked the brother of the only girl I've ever slept with in the room next to the one where his girlfriend was sleeping and the other room where the former lover was sleeping with her boyfriend. Of course, that resulted in some serious knee rug burn and a pregnancy scare, so it's not exactly a happy story.

The worst sex experience I've ever had was probably the bleeding incident, with the preppy guy who looked like Jude Law. Jesus! The damage a slight nick to the girlish netherparts can produce is astounding. That was some sex scene in "Angel Heart" shit, there. Two torsos just completely coated in blood...

Good lord, woman.

I know how to pick 'em, Marsupialized!

Here's something I wrote over on Killoggs back in the day, when I was getting divorced (caps are intentional):

"I JUST WANT TO GET DIVORCED BUT CAN'T SEEM TO DO SO BECAUSE MY INSANE EX-HUSBAND APPARENTLY MOVED TO ALASKA WITH THE MARRIED WOMEN (WHO HASN'T SEEN HER HUSBAND IN 6 YEARS) THAT HE IS ATTEMPTING TO IMPREGNATE SO THEY CAN DRESS SAID BABY IN A BAT COSTUME. "

Yeah. That pretty much sums most of my romantic history up nicely.

Don't get me started on the librarian phase of my life. That involved a car crash and Hurricane Katrina.