Oh yeah, Smiths and solo Moz are off-limits. I'm not sure why she can deal with Geddy Lee's voice but not Morrissey's, but that's just how it goes here!

My wife has a lot of similar musical interests as I do, but her scope is much narrower. There are things that I love that she just can't get with, usually the super heavy / abstract stuff is where she draws the line, but she's very polite about it.

There's a lot of the depeche mode/erasure shit that she loves that I have no use for. Synthy 80's new wave pop stuff, but we have plenty of intersections there also, esp as I get older and re-evaluate.

She'll go to shows with me if she has any interest in the band. We traveled to Unwound because she loves them also. We're gonna see True Widow this weekend together. Breeders, Stereolab we've seen together recently. At the same time, she skipped Sleep, Russian Circles, Sumac and probably others that I can't remember now. I don't mind going to shows alone so NBD for me.

If she asks me to go to something, I'll go, but she also knows what I hate and won't do that to me. Fortunately we still have plenty of friends in our circle that will go see shit that I'd really rather not. But if it's between her missing it and me going, I'll go.

My last partner and I shared a love of drugs not music and I'm sure one could surmise how that ended. Prior to that it was an Irishman who questioned aloud if I was too old to be driving around the country playing music. Currently the revolution is my boyfriend and we share the same tastes. We both have a strong dislike of trap and most current, mainstream hip hop; shoegaze/dreampop, and beautiful melodies struggling to be heard against a din is a pleasure in which we partake, we both prefer abnormal and/or startling vocals in noise rock instead of shouting; together we've been exploring Barbara Donald, Muhal Richard Abrams and other free jazz travelers; we both dig house, disco, and funk; we even share the same size in clothes. Pretty great. If only he could keep himself at home.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to stand a partner as rabid as I am about music, but music that I hate. Love is strong, but is it strong enough to survive that auto-tuned abused, capitalist, bullshit rap where people talk instead of rap? They'd have to be putting up numbers in the bedroom or wherever for me to deal with that sort of foolishness.

rsmurphy wrote: Wed Apr 26, 2023 1:09 pm I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to stand a partner as rabid as I am about music, but music that I hate.

This is me, too.

Thus far, I have not figured out how to manage it.

And I also acknowledge having a double standard. If wife points out that she doesn't like something I love, I'm a little hurt.

I'm shallow, I suppose.

Tom Wanderer wrote: Mon Apr 24, 2023 8:19 am

twelvepoint wrote: Mon Apr 24, 2023 8:08 am "The Tarkus Hour."

(single tear of joy emoji)

Yeah I missed this. Smiling big over here.

jfv wrote: Wed Apr 26, 2023 3:03 pm And I also acknowledge having a double standard. If wife points out that she doesn't like something I love, I'm a little hurt.

I'm shallow, I suppose.

Not necessarily shallow, but that's probably not a good thing.

I’ve been really lucky. My wife has fairly similar musical tastes as I do with a little more scepticism at the fringes… I tried to get her to enjoy Life Metal by SunnO))) but no dice.

Her reaction to The Jesus Lizard live was hilarious. Day Two of ATP Vs the Fans I said we should go for the second set… “that guy who’s dick was in my face thirty seconds into the show!? No thanks.”. I found her later at the back sitting on the floor talking to Alan Sparhawk. Goddam ATP could be incredible.

The current Mrs Tries has no problem with anything I listen to, but doesn't like anything to be banged out at really high volume. It's an odd do, but I'll take it.

My wife and I have maybe like a 60% overlap, or more if you count stuff that pretty much anyone likes. It's kinda perfect, we can go out to some shows together, and also, I go to a lot of stuff by myself. There is enough overlap there where we aren't always listening to the same few albums in the car to avoid one of us getting annoyed. We are both pretty low maintenance in that we don't require the other person to constantly be there all the time doing the same stuff. Nice balance of being together with your mate vs being your own person.

She draws a line at stuff that is too abrasive and screaming/yelling. I draw the line at pop that bores me, or maudlin boomer rock. I can get down with some pop music when the hooks grab me, and she likes some noisy stuff though, as long as there's some beauty in it. One of her favorite songs is "There's a Bag Of Weights In The Back of My Car" by Pinebender, which has always surprised me.

I think one of the signs early on that this was the right woman for me was that I started noticing that I enjoyed more stuff purely because she did. I only just sorta endure Paul Simon though, usually I can even bite my tongue.

She has been to plenty of my shows. I dunno if she would be that into my bands if we weren't together, but there are some songs she likes and I kinda like to keep that in mind when writing stuff with bands. "We need one here that will keep us from driving out everyone's significant other, harmonize with me on this 'oooooh' part." She also is super supportive of me doing music, since she knows that it kinda ends up being a release and a way to maintain friendships.

PS

Jfv, if the tickets are too pricey, then you need to go to that Blink 182 show by yourself just to really prove your love

My wife and I diverge where the gender stereotypes go. Where she is into the wispy female vocal singer songwriter, I love the heavy stuff. There is some overlap there, though. Most everything in the middle, we are solidly in line with, especially hip hop, though she loves hardcore and I can't stand it. I work at home and she's a stay at home mom. She's got her music going nonstop upstairs with the kids and I've got mine downstairs in my office. We both are always looking for new things, and we like to share what we find that we think the other will like.