Josef K wrote:I would rather not, but I'm generally too polite to cut someone off if they strike up a chat.

Now, over-the-stall-mid-shit-chat - that's just not on.

Not Crap: Urinal chat

Crap: Stall chat

More Crap: the fucking cleaner chatting to you while you're pissing and he's mopping.

iembalm wrote:I was taking a leak in the Milwaukee County Courthouse

Great opening line for a short story or country song.


If a song, then this would make for quite a good chorus (ideally sung in a faux-soul falsetto)

"Oh, oh, it's better than a woman!"

We used to think it hilarious that if you finished pissing before one of your mates, you were obliged to gently push them into the urinal as you left. THen I shoved someone pretty hard in the bogs in Edinburgh Student Union, and he concussed himself on the old Victorian cistern. Not so funny.

I have made it a habit of, when entering a public restroom at a bar, restaurant, truck stop(especially a truck stop), that if I see a friend whizzing away, with strangers present as well, to say something along the lines of, "Dude, NICE COCK!" as a way to say hello before pulling into a urinal of my own. It's important not to make any eye contact with any of the strangers. So far, it hasn't caused any trouble, but surely in the future it will. Try it out. I picked this up from Elliot 'hey dude' Dicks who I believe picked it up from Douglas McCombs. Smart guys.

If my cock is out, you will speak DIRECTLY to my cock or not speak at all.

Is this what they mean by an eye-to-eye talk?

CRAP

WF: The old guy who yells "What're you looking up for? The joke's in your hand!"

I was somewhat taken by the size of a man's willy when I was taking a piss during the Stooges set at ATP, and felt inclined to comment on it, but I held back. I caught sight of it out of the corner of my eye and was simply blown away. I'm no manfancier, but this gentlemen was gifted. I think he clocked me, and there was an awkward pause where I think something was going to be said, but never actually did. Probably for the best really.

"Man, the band is totally bringing it!"
"Are you looking at my dick?"









"Frankly, yes."

Rimbaud III wrote: there was an awkward pause where I think something was going to be said, but never actually did. Probably for the best really.

You did well young sir.

I have trouble peeing while people talk to me. So if they start up, I start masturbating and say "keep talking. I'm alsmost there."

mhannigan wrote:I have made it a habit of, when entering a public restroom at a bar, restaurant, truck stop(especially a truck stop), that if I see a friend whizzing away, with strangers present as well, to say something along the lines of, "Dude, NICE COCK!" as a way to say hello before pulling into a urinal of my own. It's important not to make any eye contact with any of the strangers. So far, it hasn't caused any trouble, but surely in the future it will. Try it out. I picked this up from Elliot 'hey dude' Dicks who I believe picked it up from Douglas McCombs. Smart guys.

I do the same thing, actually, except I say"hey man, nice penis." It's usually followed by a very cordial "thanks man."

Then there was one time I used the same urinal as another friend, and we both referenced Ghostbusters by admonishing each other not to cross the streams, it would be bad.