John George Peppers wrote:People put fat into themselves. They shove, kuma burger after kuma burger into their mouths, and their cholesterol goes up. Most (see above post) have control over that. They can go to the gym, go on a diet, go on medication, or all three.

FYP, point being that many people who appear outwardly fit knowingly have high cholesterol levels or high blood pressure and have no more business going into Kuma's or Hot Doug's than someone who might weigh 20-40 pounds more--yet the bigger person is singled out for ridicule or lecturing. Those who feel it necessary to make comments about someone else should have copies of their most recent physical exam and blood work to prove that they really are the superior human being.

Teasing or not, this is a bad move. Kid them about that time they lost their keys or something instead.

Instead I like to point out how close they are all teetering to their imminent and eternal demise.

Real soon!

The proper answer to any of these taunts is, "I'm sorry I'm not the man you fell in love with anymore."

Or, "I can just start riding my bike to work. You'll need at least a quarter mil worth of plastic surgery to fix that fucking grill, dude."

A dude? Some dude got all pissy because you called him fat? A male? A male called another male fat and one got sad?

I'd stop off and buy him some maxi pads on the way over to apologize.

John George Peppers wrote:People put weight on themselves. They shove, kuma burger after kuma burger into their mouths and gain weight.

You are so cruel sometimes, I don't know why you have to say things like this to me in front of people.

I'll be in the kitchen eating bacon if anyone needs me.

I guess it's okay if (a) you've known the guy for years and have a close relationship, & (b) you do it in a gentle, playful way.

I don't really see the point in doing it though, because it's more likely that you'll hurt his feelings. It looks like this has already happened.

This is different from sitting down with him and telling him that you're actually concerned about his weight gain. That's not flippant and could actually be a way to show him you care.

People are sensitive about their weight. Why go there?

I don't joke around with people about stuff like this. I got made fun of for a physical trait when I was a kid, and it hurt for a little while until I just started accepting that most people are idiots. The friends I had would never even mention it. That's how you can tell the cool people from the cocks.

Not saying you're a cock, you don't sound like it. Just sayin'.

Y'all are making me feel like a heel now.

It was playful ribbing and he took it as such. I figured it must've stung just a wee bit because later on in the day he kept mentioning about how he was tubby, and I apologized. Usually I am sensitive towards the wishes, concerns, and whatnot of my friends, I'm also kinda prickly, though. It's my charm and defines the magic that is me. No more tubby jokes. I promise.

I don't think maxi-pads are very green, 'Sup. We've only got one earth.

H-GM wrote:Y'all are making me feel like a heel now.

It was playful ribbing and he took it as such. I figured it must've stung just a wee bit because later on in the day he kept mentioning about how he was tubby, and I apologized. Usually I am sensitive towards the wishes, concerns, and whatnot of my friends, I'm also kinda prickly, though. It's my charm and defines the magic that is me. No more tubby jokes. I promise.

I don't think maxi-pads are very green, 'Sup. We've only got one earth.

You're not a heel, dude. You blurted out something awkward and you feel like you shouldn't have said it.

We all do it everyday almost. Or at least, I do. I unintentionally hurt one of my co-workers' feelings the other day.

In fact I think there's a huge thread on the General Discussion board about that very sort of thing.

This has always seems like a budget thing to do.

itchy mcgoo wrote:People know this about themselves.

You are 100% correct about this.

As I have said maybe 1,000 times on this message board, I am one of these huge fat guys. Have been for most of my life. I am grotesquely, stared-at-in-public, will-he-break-my-furniture fat.

As a direct result of this, I am also acutely self-aware, so I often say things in jest to diffuse people's potentially feeling weird about being around me. Of course, I also do this to let people know that I am, in fact, aware of my appalling physical condition, so they need not mention it to me.

But! Among my friends, I believe my weight is practically a non-issue. If one of my friends makes a joke about it, it's fine because I've already established that I'm willing to ridicule myself (endlessly) for the same reason. This doesn't offend me in the least.

If a stranger calls me fat, I don't particularly care. I'm not taken aback by someone stating the obvious.

So, the point of this self-indulgent rambling is this:

H-GM, I don't think you have anything to worry about. You are certainly not a heel.

With friends, this is not necessarily a jerk move. Maybe, in general, this is crap in the same way that picking on someone over any characteristic is crap. However, as the knowledgeable Mark Hansen said, this depends on the context, and you have to feel that out within your social circle. If this particular friend is thin-skinned about it, then maybe avoid joking about it in the future.

Or buy him a box of tampons.