Yeah.. why anyone over the age of like 17 having to make do with dipshits from high school or a small town I don't see the point.

Last band, loved the guys I played with. Butted heads constantly with one of them. We're much better off being buddies.

This band? 2 piece. Ride or die. Respect each other's time and opinions. Different visions coalesce into one grand unified monument to rock, brotherhood, and butt nasty riffs. The most fun I've ever had in my life. My musical soulmate.

I’m lucky/glad that both my bandmates are great musicians and solid hangs. For the most part I haven’t been part of any band/project where someone outright sucked, or at least for long enough to where it started to turn to shit.

If you were, say St. Anger-era Metallica or Rumors-era Fleetwood Mac I could see the logic of Staying Together For The Money. (Not to say that was their sole reason at those times for staying together, but I’m sure economic fortunes/contractual obligations were a significant factor.) For us mere mortals, I’d rather not spend my one night a week making music around someone I couldn’t stand if I can help it.

Got me thinking... who famously hated each other?

The Police
Talking Heads
Brian Jonestown Massacre
Dinosaur Jr (v1)

I think Johnny Ramone hated everyone and vice versa?

Teacher's Pet wrote: Wed Nov 05, 2025 3:53 pm Got me thinking... who famously hated each other?

The Police
Talking Heads
Brian Jonestown Massacre
Dinosaur Jr (v1)

I think Johnny Ramone hated everyone and vice versa?

Cream
The brothers in Oasis and the Kinks

I've never started a band with people I didn't get along with, but I've certainly played in bands with people who I eventually realized I didn't want to be in a band with, even if I still liked them as a friend. Luckily those bands have usually ended before I actually hated anyone, and the only person I've played in band with that I actively dislike that really happened after we were in a band together (threatening to take my then-partner to small claims court over complete bullshit will do that).

At this point the hangs and the laughs are nearly as important as the rocking, so no way I'd play with someone I disliked now, I already have a job for that thank you very much.

Teacher's Pet wrote: Wed Nov 05, 2025 3:53 pm Got me thinking... who famously hated each other?

Hate is a strong word but there are many accounts of members beefing due to probably spending too much time in a van together, Black Flag and Husker Du come to mind.

Isaac wrote: Wed Nov 05, 2025 9:37 am Once walked out of a band because someone was talking shit about my pal Mark L. Just got up and left.

Damn straight. Tell me who it is. I just wanna talk!

I learned my lesson. 2nd or 3rd little midwest tour with my 4 piece band. We'd all suffered our other guitarist for too long. He was douchey, bro-ish, embarrassing in all the situations of people letting us crash their floors, all of the etiquette interacting with other bands about show logistics.

We spent a few nights in some town when a show fell through next to a planned day off and we just had to hang around. He was all about buying more pitchers of beer and then going with the roadie to a strip club when we were going to sit on someone's couch and watch DVDs. Dudes in the other band overheard him calling dad to wire him more money.

After some unusually shitty tour luck (even for us), we had to pull a 3 state drive home. We all took turns filling the tank as the band fund dried up. Credit card time. He through a huge fit when it was his turn and I finally lost it and told him to ride home in the other band's van.

It was a Sly and the Family Stone dance party in the van after that. A palpable relief. The other two were stoked and congratulted me for losing my temper. The minute we lost that dude's bad vibes everything was better. We wrote more songs, accomplished more recording, got more people checking us out. We were way stronger as a unified three piece than a conflicted four piece.

I'll never play music with people I don't like again. The comraderie is at least half the reason to do it. I tell normies at work who try to understand the whole small time band thing, some people get together playing kickball or softball. We get together every week to shoot the shit, but we also make art.

Fuck hating your bandmates. That shit reeks of "I'm an emotionally unstable young person with unresolved issues." I suppose it's different if siblings or spouses are in the mix. But about the highest compliment I could pay someone circa now would to be to get involved with them creatively, in any capacity, even in a supporting role; like hell I'm gonna do that if said person makes my skin crawl. Hard pass!

I do understand "friendly resentment," especially if you're the one picking up others' slack/doing most of the work (been there; many times). There's a little gray area in longer term working relationships. But if you're not (mostly) resolutely cool with each other, and other people aren't just hired guns, you're doing it wrong!

CRAP, even if it's sometimes funny (in other peoples' bands and side projects).