2706
by itchy mcgoo_Archive
I went to the beach on Sunday, as I do most every summer Sunday. I just started going to Montrose Beach, which is at the very end of Wilson on the North side of Chicago. I fucking love this beach. There are huge families, scrappy dogs and the odd white person there has 90% chance of being tattoed. There's sunshine and sand and water and all the lovely things that come with beach but it is very urban still given the mix of people.
I got there about noon, after witnessing the Electrons make a triumphant comeback while absolutely reeking of booze from festivities the night before. I laid my crap out in an area that was mostly women in pairs or by themselves, lazing in the sun working on their melanoma bronze.
There was one guy, middle-aged and red-faced, wearing a t-shirt and shorts and sitting up talking on the phone. I didn't pay attention to him or anyone, but I did hear him say "sexy" at one point, which isn't odd because there are some, you know, sexy things to see at the beach.
After an hour or so, I hear some shouting and sit up and see a woman with curly red hair braided into pigtails yelling at the man. "There are kids here you fucking asshole!" The man responds that he wasn't doing anything, and Ms. Pigtails yells, "I just saw your fucking dick! You're sitting here jerking off! Ladies, he's looking at all of you and jerking off!"
At this point, he gets up and begins to walk off the beach. A nervous lifeguard apologizes to the ladies, who mostly haven't even stirred. I thanked Ms. Pigtails and thought it would be nice to be friends with her.
I looked to the edge of the beach and saw Mr. Sandy Stroker Man running to get out of dodge.
H-GM wrote:Still don't make you mexican, Dances With Burros.
