barndog wrote:I used to work in this book warehouse. It was one of those places that removed the doors from the bathroom stalls I guess to keep people from smoking weed? Anyway, I went in to the bathroom one hot summer day to take a leak and this really fat guy was taking a shit - quite out in the open. So I do my best to not notice him, take my leak, and am washing my hands when I hear him say - "whew - sure is a hot one, eh?". I look up in the mirror to see this guy sitting there on the throne - looking my way. "Sure is" I said, dried my hands and left.

It was shortly after that I found out there was a private bathroom in the front of the building.

barndog wrote:I used to work in this book warehouse. It was one of those places that removed the doors from the bathroom stalls I guess to keep people from smoking weed? Anyway, I went in to the bathroom one hot summer day to take a leak and this really fat guy was taking a shit - quite out in the open. So I do my best to not notice him, take my leak, and am washing my hands when I hear him say - "whew - sure is a hot one, eh?". I look up in the mirror to see this guy sitting there on the throne - looking my way. "Sure is" I said, dried my hands and left.

It was shortly after that I found out there was a private bathroom in the front of the building.

barndog wrote:I used to work in this book warehouse. It was one of those places that removed the doors from the bathroom stalls

Bambouche wrote:

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote: I don't care for urinal talk.

I prefer to piss in privacy, or, at least, practical privacy. That said...

I was at a show in San Francisco years ago and I bumped into an old high school friend on the way to the bathroom. As we approached the urinals I asked him what he'd been up to. He said, "Well, I got a botched vasectomy." We're old friends, and I was curious, so I said, "What does botched mean?" He asked me if I wanted to see the scar. I did. He pulled his wank out and lifted it up. I'm 6'5", and he's like 5'2", so I had to squat real low to see under his dong.

There I was, squatting on the floor, face-to-dick, when this other guy walks into the bathroom... "WHOA! Hey! Uhhh, I'll leave you guys alone!"

My friend and I laughed in that ha-ha-we're-totally-gay way.



In 1992 my best friend went away to college in Long Beach. He drove his mom's car 300 miles to check out the campus (maybe it was orientation week? I don't remember), and I accompanied him. With absolutely no plan, we ended up getting to Long Beach in the middle of the night and sleeping in the car. The next morning we got kinda lost and ended up at a Chevron in Compton. My friend went in to ask directions and I went to use the bathroom. I'm there, minding my own business, and this big fucking guy comes walking in. He pulls up next to me and just stares over the little dividing wall between the two urinals. Weird! I kinda froze, not sure what to do. He leans back and yells, "Yo n*gga, come check this out, this dude here got an earring in his dick!" (I had an ampallang, long story.)

So this other guy comes into the bathroom and looks at my dick. The whole time I am frozen, sort of pretending to pee, minding my own business. This was shortly after Boyz in the Hood, so my mind started to wander, thinking to myself, I'm about to get smoked?, Jesus, what a dreadfully embarassing way to die...

All of a sudden they laugh, tell me, "you crazy, fool", and leave.

I zipped up and got Straight Outta Compton.

Marsupialized wrote:

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:I've heard that there are bars around Chicago that fully intend to ignore the ban.

And then some are starting early. On Friday night they came over and told me after our set that I wasn't supposed to be smoking cigarettes in the bar. I had smoked like 12 durning our set, which is really the only time I smoke...when playing, and then I chain smoke.
This whole thing is gonna fuck me up for awhile as far as playing shows goes, I'll have to chew on a straw or something I guess.

mhannigan wrote:

Marsupialized wrote:

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:I've heard that there are bars around Chicago that fully intend to ignore the ban.

And then some are starting early. On Friday night they came over and told me after our set that I wasn't supposed to be smoking cigarettes in the bar. I had smoked like 12 durning our set, which is really the only time I smoke...when playing, and then I chain smoke.
This whole thing is gonna fuck me up for awhile as far as playing shows goes, I'll have to chew on a straw or something I guess.

I was told recently by one of the guys that runs security at logan square auditorium that while a smoking ban will be in place for all indoor places, if you smoking a cigarette is 'part of your act' then it is not technically breaking the law. I suppose this application of the law might seem to make more sense in a theatrical setting, but supposedly if you're in a band you can still smoke during your set and call it part of 'your act'. I don't know the fine points of the law, but this man sure did. So, you may keep smoking it seems.

Marsupialized wrote:I walked into a bathroom at a Denny's once and there was a little Mexican dude in full mariachi band dress sitting there on the out in the open toilet shitting away, there's no walls at all between the toilet and the urinal and the door leading to the restaurant
I just kinda stopped in my tracks, he looks at me and says...and I can still hear it in my ears to this day, exactly what his voice sounded like:
'es okay man, you can peeees if you like' and he points at the urinal...there were little bells sewn into his suit and when he pointed it made a sound like Santa's sleigh taking off.

Christopher J. McGarvey wrote: tapping "I wanna suck your cock" in Morse code

Rotton Tanx wrote: In England 50% of pub urinals are like this. Some porcelein, some metal. I had no idea anyone would consider them old school.

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:

Marsupialized wrote:I walked into a bathroom at a Denny's once and there was a little Mexican dude in full mariachi band dress sitting there on the out in the open toilet shitting away, there's no walls at all between the toilet and the urinal and the door leading to the restaurant
I just kinda stopped in my tracks, he looks at me and says...and I can still hear it in my ears to this day, exactly what his voice sounded like:
'es okay man, you can peeees if you like' and he points at the urinal...there were little bells sewn into his suit and when he pointed it made a sound like Santa's sleigh taking off.

This post gives me hope for the future of mankind.

So great.