What do you call an Ethiopian taking a shit?



A show-off.

If you stand in front of a car, you get tired. If you stand behind a car, you get exhausted.

= Justin

Brett Eugene Ralph wrote:

John C3 wrote:How do you make a duck sing?

Put it in the oven til its bill withers.

I don't get it.

Wait a minute . . . I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, etc., etc.

i hate you. i also applaud you.

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."


A real nice joke. Goes over well at job interviews.

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic. "What's logic?" the first redneck asked.
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
"That's real good!" said the redneck.
The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin' ?" asked the friend.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.
"No," his friend replied.
"You're queer, ain't ya?"

Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said "My wife is so dumb, yesterday she drug home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain't even got electricity!" The second hillbilly said "My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain't even got runnin water!"

The third hillbilly said "My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table. Everything was spilled out of it and there was a bunch of rubbers layin there... and she ain't even got a dick!"

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"

Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week

Q. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
A. When his hand caught on fire

Q. What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A. Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear

Q. What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. Pimp

Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.

Q. What's the definition of trust?
A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob

Two sexist jokes I heard which are really funny:

A man and his wife are watching Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. At the commercial, the man's wife turns and says: "Honey, why can't you be more like that?" The guy thinks and says, "Well, those guys cook, clean, and suck cock. In fact, honey, why can't you be more like those guys?"

A man goes to the doctor and the doctor says he has 24 hours to live. He then goes home and tells his wife the news. After a bit, he says, "I want to have sex with you as many times as I can before I die." So that is what they do. In the night, the man wakes up, and decides he wants to fuck one last time. He wakes up his wife gently and says, "Can we fuck one last time?" She responds, "Easy for you to say, you don't have work in the morning."

Guy goes to the doctor, says, "Doc, my daughter needs to get birth control pills."

Doc says, "and how old is she?"

Guy says "she's 9 years old."

Doctor says, "wow that's very young to be taking contraceptives! Is she sexually active?"


The guy says, "no, she just lies there like her mother."