A couple of weeks ago I went into a studio with a band that I like alot. We went in to record 2 songs-one as a single and one as a b-side. The session went fantastically well until we had a visit from the labels a and r representative. This spike haired, fake tan, coke snorting prick bobbed his head along out of time
to the playback of the songs as they stood,before mixing, and suggested that the song that had been choosen(by the label)was not as good as the other song ( which they are sick of ) and would seriously consider releasing that as the single if one of the parts was changed even if the band resisted and did not like the song. I understand that a band should not have got into this type of situation in the first place, but I really like to know how Steve and the fine people on this forum deal with these arseholes other than insisting that they cannot come into the studio ( which i not so tactfully suggested to the manager after this first visit)

I have several techniques for just such an A&R emergency.

1. Swift punch to the throat.

2. Shouting "fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, etc" until they fuck off.

3. The old 'drummer control' button trick; agree with any comments the fucking prick (or drummer) makes, nodding earnestly, then turn a control on a unit not currently plumbed-in whilst saying "like this you mean? yeah; you're right, that is better!".

Any or all of those.

funny, as we already utilised this technique when one on the non-band parties thought that one of the major parts was not up to the 'demo' quality. The band lied to this person saying that it had been replaced when it fact it certainly had not and lo' and behold....they agreed that it was a massive improvement.
But lying to these guys is very different to dealing with a very real situation such as this.

Let me get this straight.... they signed to a label that HAS a spike haired, fake tan, coke snorting prick of an A&R guy and NOW they are bummed out because he is acting like a spike haired, fake tan, coke snorting prick of an A&R guy?

I find more and more in life you often get what you ask for. That is why you have to be really really careful about what you ask for.

I has never met an A and R guy that was not spiked haired, fake tanned, and coke snorting. They are all arseholes. And most of the time they also wear ironic T shirts. Fuckwits.

hollis wrote:I has never met an A and R guy that was not spiked haired, fake tanned, and coke snorting. They are all arseholes. And most of the time they also wear ironic T shirts. Fuckwits.

Two words:

Nathan Barley.

I couldn't have put it better myself.
yep. pricks like that do indeed deserve an icepick in the cheek.

cjh wrote:Did someone mention Nathan Barley?

I don't want to drag this thread too far off topic, but seeing as someone mentioned Nathan Barley...

The new Chris Morris/Charlie Brooker show 'Nathan Barley' is starting on Channel 4 on the 11th of February.

The site is here:http://www.trashbat.co.ck

There are a couple of trailers which look *interesting*, but I'm reserving judgement for now...

As for the A&R sole, the throat punch sounds like a solid option. Would that be a rabbit punch?

night_tools wrote:
The new Chris Morris/Charlie Brooker show 'Nathan Barley' is starting on Channel 4 on the 11th of February.

Yeah, I'm not certain about the concept of a show ridiculing media-wannaba wankers which is undoubtedly made-by and starring media wannabe wankers.

I'm thinking that it might be a wretched (and out of date) mess of irony/lack of irony...