lemur68 wrote:

Marsupialized wrote:You know how Ogre burps in Revenge of the Nerds? It was like that but in fart form. Just hhhheeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrbbbbbbppppppppptttttttttttt.

You know the really long piss in the background of a scene in the second one? I was sitting in the stall not masturbating and someone takes a piss in the urinal that had to last a good minute. Dude's bladder must be the size of both lungs.

I have taken that piss, I drink all this water joe caffeine water and every time I piss it's like 4 straight minutes of piss. Like 12 times a day. Not any kind of little dribble piss either, this is a strong manly stream every time.
maybe I can hook up some sort of electric generator to harness the power of this piss.

enframed wrote:

unsaved wrote:I always know when a dude is in the stall beating his little brother when I walk in the bathroom and I don't smell shit.

you wouldn't catch me that way.

What the hell does that mean? Are you bringing poop to work in a ziplock and opening the bag in the stall while you are taking care of your business? I am intrigued and revolted. Please elaborate to satiate my curiosity.

As for the subject at hand, not crap. WF if you are public about it and all creepy around chicks as a result. Then again dudes like that would tend to get fired quick. Unless they are the boss, but that's what sexual harassment lawsuits are for.

Work release!

NOT CRAP in principle, but I've never done it and don't imagine I ever will.

placeholder wrote:Work release!

Dang, man. Sometimes you bust me up.



I used to deliver to this mechanic shop run by a couple of fat half-Hispanic fellers; it was just the two. One of the guys wasn't just fat, he was extra hangover roll fat, like maybe that Don Vito guy or something. Anyway, I go to take a whiz there and while I am making, I look over at the roll of toilet paper and on top of the roll is a clump of toilet paper and made into this (stiff-looking) clump is the perfect shape of a circumcised penis knob. I am picturing Ol' Front-Butt, after he's done, deciding it's too much work to flush the toilet if he tosses the clump and just putting the clump back for later use.

charliedon'tsurf wrote:

enframed wrote:

unsaved wrote:I always know when a dude is in the stall beating his little brother when I walk in the bathroom and I don't smell shit.

you wouldn't catch me that way.

What the hell does that mean? Are you bringing poop to work in a ziplock and opening the bag in the stall while you are taking care of your business? I am intrigued and revolted. Please elaborate to satiate my curiosity.

Maybe he craps first.

iembalm wrote:

DrAwkward wrote:

lemur68 wrote:Who is so horny they can't wait til they get home?

I mean yeah, I remember being in school hoping my boner would go away before being called to the blackboard....in middle school.

At the old banking job i once got so god damned bored (i mean, seriously, in the last year at least i had a total of about 1/2 hour of real work to do daily) that my mind wandered to a place where it just couldn't come back from until i snuck into the bathroom and dealt with the situation.

You wanked in the bathroom at a bank? Did you smile for the camera?

'Twas a small bank that was in a larger building, and the bathrooms were shared amongst a couple different businesses. Wasn't an issue. No cameras.

lemur68 wrote:

Marsupialized wrote:You know how Ogre burps in Revenge of the Nerds? It was like that but in fart form. Just hhhheeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrbbbbbbppppppppptttttttttttt.

You know the really long piss in the background of a scene in the second one? I was sitting in the stall not masturbating and someone takes a piss in the urinal that had to last a good minute. Dude's bladder must be the size of both lungs.

When I was in high school, I was in the broadcast AV club. So one day I snuck and skipped one class before a show, and ended up having to take a shit. The bathroom's next to the moderator's classroom. I'm in the stall at the end of the urinals taking care of business.

Someone walks in, and up to a urinal, I hear unzipping, and then I hear tinkling accompanied with loud, echoing pained grunting and groaning (that I identified as coming from the moderator of the club that I was skipping class to hang with) as if this piss was one of razor blades and acid. This symphony lasted the entire length of the pee and he sounded like he was experiencing something both orgasmic and agonizing. I couldn't tell if urinating was a wondrous journey for this man or if he had a UTI and had to bite the bullet Green Mile style.

I can't remember any moment more awkward and uncomfortable in my life short of being younger and hearing my parents doing it in the middle of the night.

fancyjamtime wrote:I wish there was some way of letting him know that I bear no ill will and that I didn't nark on him. Maybe I can make a drawing and put it on his cleaning equipment...

LOL

Pibroch wrote:I can't remember any moment more awkward and uncomfortable in my life short of being younger and hearing my parents doing it in the middle of the night.

This sort of activity deserves it's own thread. Wait, maybe not.

I too had this unfortunate experience once. While in my single digits, I used to go out of town to swim meets with my family a lot. While in a Holiday Inn in Bettendorf, Iowa once, my sister woke me up to make me aware of the act in progress.

I did once when I worked in the most boring office ever. I was in the toilet and on the phone to a stranger. It was alright, it wasn't amazing.

CRAP

back to maths...